SwImMiNg FiSh

Sudden Twist of Events

2005-10-10T23:24:00.000+08:00

"I lose my way.. And it's not too long before you point it out.. I cannot cry.. Because I know that's weakness in your eyes.. I'm force to fake a smile, a laugh.. Every day of my life.. My heart can't possibly break.. When it wasn't even whole to start with..."

waaaahh.. i lost my phone yesterday.. i slept with it beside me last saturday.. then when i woke up.. *poof* it was gone.. can't seem to find it anywhere.. now i'm stuck with my sun.. argh.. can't text much..

is this the price you pay for helping another person? you try to help out in every way you can and this is what you get...

recently.. i've been shocked with all the grades i'm getting.. la lang...

i did what i wanted to do.. i said what i wanted to say.. i should be happy about it.. but somehow i feel something's missing...

Indecisive

2005-09-27T21:37:00.000+08:00

"Been thinkin' 'bout you baby.. And I don't know what to do.. All I think about is you.. Seems everything around me.. Things I never understood.. They all make sense when I'm with you.. I've heard it all before.. Finding so-called love and then leave it behind.. But now I feel so sure.. Listen to my heart this time.. So I lay it on the line.. I know that what I found is once in a lifetime..."

we won!! yippee.. hehehe.. yesterday was our volleyball tournament for PE which would determine our final grade in PE.. At first.. we were really tensed and were making lousy services.. but as the game went on.. nyaha.. we really were playing better.. team work.. we only had 2 games and won both with a 2 set streak.. hehehe.. and guess who's the captain? *ehem* nyaha.. hehehe.. i invited ryan, pat, debby, joey, kyle, jd, and charmie to watch the game.. but no one came.. grrrrrrrr.. but it's all good since mars and chill were there.. thanks for the support!! you're the best!!

hold on.. don't give up.. show me what he's done to you.. stand up with confidence.. a broken heart can't be that bad.. when it's through.. it's through.. fate will twist the both of you.. so come on over.. let me be the one to show you.. i'm the one who wants to be with you.. deep inside i hope you feel it to.. waiting on the line of dreams and blues.. just to be the next to be with you.. build up your confidence.. so you can be on top for once.. wake up.. who cares about.. little boy that talk too much.. i've seen it all go down.. your game of love was all rained out.. so come on over.. let me be the one to hold you.. i'm the one who wants to be with you...

Fishy Wonderin'

2005-09-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

"You and I got something and it's all but then it's nothing to me.. And I got my defenses when it comes to your intentions for me.. And we wake up in the breakdown of the things we never thought we could be.. I'm not the one who broke you.. I'm not the one you should fear.. I thought I lost you somewhere.. But you were never really ever there at all..."

UAAP basketball season is officially over for the Ateneo Blue Eagles.. ADMU lost again to DLSU a while ago.. darn.. it was a really close fight in the first two quarters.. ADMU even gained the lead at half time.. but in the 3rd quarter.. DLSU regained the lead.. LA even had a cramped calf muscle which worsened the situation.. DLSU won with a big lead.. but hey.. i'm just glad the eagles got into the final four.. and i'm also glad that i didn't get to see Arana dance again.. sheesh.. today was also the last day of the UAAP swimming competition.. i hope they won.. the team this year is really good.. new talents.. Go Ateneo!! One Big Fight!!

i went to the final SpeEd area last Friday.. there were only seven of us.. edith, makaw, din, charvic, chris, charmie, and me.. we still had fun with the kids.. dancing the hokey pokey.. watching them color.. and taking lots of pictures.. uber fun.. hehehe.. i hope the farewell party next week will go as planned..

and i'd do anything for you.. i'll give you up.. if that's what i should do to make you happy.. i can pretend each time i see you that i don't care and i don't need you.. and though inside i feel like dying.. you know you'll never see me crying.. don't you ever think that i don't love you.. that for one minute i forgot you.. but sometimes things don't work out right.. and you just have to say goodbye.. don't want to say goobye...

it's nice to see old friends again.. la lang.. had fun last sat.. too deep to share..

Hear me.. Please...

2005-08-30T21:57:00.000+08:00

"You came along unexpectedly.. I was doing fine in my little world.. Baby please don't get me wrong.. 'coz I'm not complaining.. But you see.. You got my mind spinning..."

i like you.. i really do...

Confusion drives me crazy.. well.. crazier...

2005-08-29T00:30:00.000+08:00

"It's amazing how you knock me off my feet.. everytime you come around me i get weak.. nobody ever made me feel this way.. you kiss my lips then you take my breath away.. so.. i wanna know..."
whew.. just got home.. i'm so glad that there are no classes tomorrow.. i can finally rest.. well.. somehow..

the game last saturday against UE was great.. la lang.. it was really fun.. it was actually my first time to watch a game live.. by the way.. thanks Joey!! hehehe.. i really had fun.. joke time si Jerome.. hehehe.. while watching the game.. Joey was telling me what her dad says about being bad luck when she watches the game.. hehehe.. guess he was wrong.. see Joey? i told you you're not bad luck.. you're good luck pa nga eh.. nyaha.. anyways.. we were leading from 1st to 4th quarter.. the last quarter was the most intense part.. we were already standing just to cheer for the team.. we were shouting and clapping like crazy.. hehehe.. all those 3 points and fast breaks made by LA and JC.. damn.. the adrenaline.. hihihi.. my first time watching.. and we won.. super fun..

i went to the province after the game.. it was already 7:30 in the evening and was really raining hard.. argh.. i really can't drive without my glasses especially at night.. it was so dark and i can hardly see.. i'm just glad i made it through the dark slippery road.. damn.. i'm never doing that again.. anyways.. i went straight to my grandmother's house and stayed there for a couple of minutes.. after.. i went to my english blockmate's party.. nothing much happened.. met some new people.. drank.. as usual.. but.. too much happy horse ain't fun anymore.. it's suicide.. la lang.. i'm so bad.. i was making fun of people there.. la lang.. everyone was happy naman eh.. laugh trip nga eh.. hehehe.. went home 3 in the morning.. again.. belated happy birthday Carl..

i left the prov at about 5 in the afternoon.. it was my auntie's birthday and i had to be in greenbelt by 7.. but.. i arrived at my house at 7:30.. so quickly freshened up then went to the party.. i was so late that when i arrived there they were already eating dessert.. i ended up eating salad instead of a nice steak.. argh.. but it was alright.. since i've been craving for salad in the past few days.. hehehe.. healthy eating.. after.. a few picture taking.. then we all went home.. usually.. i don't want to be alone while eating, studying, watching movies, and doing other stuff.. but i didn't want to go home yet.. i was suppose to watch a movie.. but i didn't feel like it anymore.. so i went straight to starbuck's and read a book while drinking coffee.. i felt at peace.. nyaha.. i realized that it's fun din pala in a way.. la lang.. it makes you focus on what you're doing and think clearly about stuff.. i want to do it again.. hehehe..

lately.. confusion drives me nuts.. it makes me think a lot of stuff that i really don't want to think about for the moment.. damn..

have you ever felt you wanted to tell a person something but couldn't because you feel that it isn't really the right time?

Maybe enough really isn't enough

2005-08-25T22:04:00.000+08:00

"It's not an easy thing to do.. sometimes it's hard to face the truth.. it's not the life I would choose.. but what else can I do.. if she don't love me.. if she don't want me.. I'm not about to sit around.. let myself go..."

it was flooding in Katipunan at a while ago.. waaaaahh.. as in really flood.. i'm just glad that i didn't bring my car.. if i did.. damn.. stranded..

anyways.. i watched "the truth about love" with bes after eco class.. krista was supposed to come but.. hehehe.. let's just say that "something came up".. the movie was really cute.. not that mushy as "if only" but mushy in another way.. hehehe.. i didn't get much quotes from the movie since all the lines were already used up.. one line was:

"be my valentine and i'll raddish you..."

la lang.. laugh trip.. hehehe.. bes was laughing so much that all the other people watching were all yelling at her.. hehehe.. jwk.. the next line was:

"i've had enough..."

see.. i told you most lines were already used up.. hehehe.. still it made me think.. again.. but before i get to that.. you should watch the movie.. it's really nice.. in a cute kinda way..

i'm so tired of picking up the pieces.. i tried to talk to you.. but you didn't listen.. i tried to show you i care.. but you couldn't see.. though it seems hard.. i would still try as much as i can...

"Waiting is painful.. Forgetting is painful.. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering"

~By the River Piedra I sat down and wept

Inside a Pink Room

2005-08-24T15:25:00.000+08:00

"I want to be inside your heaven.. take me to the place you cry from.. where the storm blows your ways.. I wanna be the earth that holds you.. every bit of air you breath in.. of soothin' wind.. i want to be inside your heaven..."

I'm in beshy's apartment right now.. we were supposed to study for eco.. but charmie fell asleep.. so yun.. bes and i ended up sound tripping na lang.. tsk tsk.. charmie.. sleeping like a baby.. eheheh..

won't be attending the SPEED meeting later.. la lang.. there's just something in this apartment that make me not want to leave.. hehehe.. maybe it's the color of bessy's room.. so pink!! or maybe it's manang's fury.. the fury of the hawk.. ehehehe..

Yehey! charmie's awake na.. oops.. my bad.. she fell asleep again..

The Effect of the Butterfly

2005-08-22T01:19:00.000+08:00

"I'm here to try to give you everything.. 'coz you made me see.. maybe for your love i would cry.. maybe for your love i would die.. just tell me what to d.. to prove to you.. i'm serious..."

it was a very long weekend.. i had no classes last friday since it was QC day.. i was planning to watch a movie with my blockmates.. but since a bunch of them had to go home and one ended up sleeping the whole day.. i spent the whole day road tripping and playing billiards.. yeah!! hehehe.. before i continue.. i'll just say that the movie "Skeleton Key" is really not that good.. argh.. but i enjoyed watching yayu and sis covering their eyes when the creepy part comes.. hehehe.. anyways.. moving on.. friday night.. or should i say saturday early morning.. i went to the basement at eastwood with charmie, mia, and kev.. it was fun.. except for.. never mind.. anyways.. i arrived at home at around 7:15 and slept for 2 and half hours since i hafta buy something.. afterwards.. i went home right away to sleep again.. damn.. i couldn't sleep at all.. so i watched the game instead.. ADMU won over Adu.. wahooo.. la lang.. hehehe.. anyways.. i left the house that night at around 7 to do something.. hehehe.. hanging.. while i was waiting in katipunan.. i saw my sister's car passing by.. i called her and asked what she would do.. bonding with my sister and her friends 'til 11 at chicken boy and seattle's.. hehehe.. at last i slept for 8 hours straight..

since it's already 2 in the morning.. i watched butterfly effect 3 times yesterday.. hehehe.. favorite.. la lang.. i was comparing its two endings.. oops.. warning.. this is a spoiler.. hehehe.. don't read na lang if haven't watched the movie yet.. anyways.. here goes.. the first ending was when evan (played by Ashton Kutcher) went back in time when he was in his mother's womb and killed himself by choking himself.. he did it to save his friends from the complications that he brings.. afterwards.. a brief clip shows how evan's family and friends move on and go on with their own lives without him being born.. think it's sad? wait 'til you hear the other ending.. i prefer this ending better.. it focuses more on the romantic part of the movie.. so evan goes back in time to where she meets up with kayleigh (his childhood sweetheart).. he told her "i hate you.. if you ever come near me i'll kill you.." after kayleigh runs to her mom.. evan whispers a sad goodbye.. afterwards.. evan "wakes up" to his college life and asks his friend about kayleigh.. having changed the past.. his friend doesn't recall ever meeting kayleigh.. evan then burns all his journals (the stuff that he uses to go back in time and change things).. in the end.. evan walks in the streets of New York and passes by kayleigh.. after a few steps.. evan stops and looks at her then walks away.. what's touching about this part is that as evan walks away.. kayleigh stops and looks at him.. though she doesn't have any idea who he is.. she still feels something and makes her look at evan.. but it has a sad ending.. so they both go their separate ways.. better ending right? for me.. the essence of the movie is that no matter what you do.. nothing will happen if it's not meant to be.. there will always be something blocking your way towards what you want.. evan tried and tried to change the past just to be with kayleigh.. but there was always something that stopped him.. in the end.. he just had to accept that it really wasn't meant to be...

waaaaaahhh.. this entry's kinda messed up.. hehehe.. i'm sleepy na eh.. i'll clear some stuff na lang on my next entries..

Why can't you see me?

2005-08-16T22:15:00.000+08:00

"I'm sitting down here but hey you can't see me.. kinda invisible.. you don't sense my stay.. not truly hiding.. not like a shadow.. just thought i would join you for one day..."

argh.. i have a long test in psych tom.. hmmmm.. really hafta study.. hehehe.. my tummy really hurts.. we had lunch at Yellow Cab after SA.. waaaahh.. pigging out part 2.. we ordered an 18" pizza.. waaaaahh.. afterwards.. i could barely walk.. uhmmm.. kinda.. we walked back to ADMU after to burn what we ate.. guess it didn't work..

"i have so much love to give yet the one i love doesn't want it.."

cheesy.. ain't it? la lang.. it's so sad to know that someone you love or just you truly care for desires to be with someone else.. leaving you behind.. she becomes too overwhelmed with what she endures that she doesn't see what you do.. ignoring your completely.. la lang.. a few of my friends shared their own stories.. he liked her and did everything for her to see.. but she liked another and ignored everything.. in the end.. he was left behind.. sad but true.. can relate? perhaps..

it's almost 11.. enough of this muna.. hafta study na..

Twenty Four Seven

2005-08-14T21:29:00.000+08:00

"I'm confused can you make me understand.. 'coz I try to give you the best of me.. I thought we were cool.. I was blind.. But never took time to see.. Can you help me?..."

It was a very cool weekend.. not too tiring.. just right.. yesterday.. Me and Chill went to UP to watch a musical play for our SA class.. it wasn't required and was just a bonus.. but I really needed it.. hehehe.. it was a really nice play.. la lang.. touching.. but what really struck me was one of the lines mentioned..

"I guess I'll have to wait.. Like every other man.."

Here I go again.. nyaha.. la lang.. it's true naman talaga eh.. in life.. everyone waits for something.. uhhhh.. yun lang.. hehehe.. anyways.. afterwards.. we went to Pat's birthday celebration.. damn.. there was really a lot of food.. argh.. talk about pigging out.. there were only 17 of us there.. and the food.. woah.. 3 dishes.. 4 orders each.. damn.. i was so stuffed.. hehehe.. but we didn't have time for dessert.. since Chill really needed to go home.. she didn't ask permission kasi eh.. sori BI.. hehehe.. anyways.. I went home early that night.. oh.. I almost forgot.. I bought a CD of Spongecola.. la lang.. everytime I hear "Gemini" on the radio.. bitin eh.. I always catch the last part na.. and besides.. I like their other songs too.. anyways.. I slept early that night.. Sunday morning.. I cleaned my car inside out.. la lang.. sobrang clean na.. hehehe.. may nagrereklamo kasi eh.. hehehe.. jwk.. basta.. it's so clean na.. hope it wouldn't rain anymore.. nyaha..

I really want to watch a movie this week.. maybe two.. hehehe.. the last one that I watched was "Wedding Crashers".. argh.. la lang.. Chill!! Charmie!! Tomorrow and Wednesday ha? hehehe.. jwk.. kayo bahala..

I really enjoy the company of some people.. la lang.. even though they're sad and mean.. hehehe.. I have fun spending so much time with them.. uhmmmm.. message lang for them: smile.. it'll be okay.. i'm here for yah!!

Hell week's over!!

2005-08-12T19:02:00.000+08:00

"I think you're truly something special.. Just what my dreams are really made of.. Let's stay together you and me.. There's no one like you around.. I really like what you've done to me.. I can't explain it.. I'm so into you.."

had my first area in SPEED today.. it was so fun.. i really enjoyed.. we were acquainted with the kids kanina.. but before that.. we were briefed by the owner of the place.. she's the mother of the founder of SPEED.. la lang.. FYI lang.. anyways.. she told us about how "Child's World" began.. it was really a heart-warming story.. she told us about where the institution was first established.. but the place had to close down.. so she decided to turn her parent's house into a school for special children.. la lang.. it was really touching how she offered her place for the kids.. awwww.. we met the kids after.. they were so affectionate.. they'll shake your hand or hug you at first meeting.. la lang.. there were really a lot of them.. i can only remember a few.. uhmmmm.. Jumbo was the dancing kid.. Pio was the chatty kid and the one who had a crush on Karel Marquez.. Christian was the boxer type of kid.. always punching something.. hehehe.. and Jeffrey was the studio 23 kid.. always yelling "kabarkada mo" and "blue eagle spelling".. hehehe.. can't wait for the next area visit.. i had a great time with my new SPEED friends.. they were so entertaining with all their jokes, stories and picture taking.. hehehe.. la lang.. saya.. i just wish "someone" was there with me.. la lang.. it would have been much better..

i was so moody this week.. la lang.. uhmmmm.. maybe because it was my hell week.. i hope.. damn.. too much brooding is not good.. thanks for understanding guys.. hehehe.. la lang..

it's friday.. and i'll go out in a few minutes.. yippee.. time to relieve my stress.. i'll go to pat's birthday tomorrow.. happee birthdae patricia!! waaaaahh.. i have NSTP pa pala tomorrow morning.. *sigh* i'm glad this week's over.. have no plans yet for next week.. hmmmmm.. where to go.. what to do.. choices choices..

Contemplating? Yup..

2005-08-10T14:27:00.000+08:00

"Someday I pray.. that i'll find the strength.. To turn to you and say.. If I was the one who was loving you.. the only tears you'll cry will be tears of joy.. And if i was by your side.. you'll never know one lonely night.. And if it was my arms you were running to.. I'd give you love in these arms of mine.. If I was the one in your life..."

Why is it so hard to express your feelings for a person you like when she likes someone else?

I thought I was done with all the questions last night.. but still.. I can't help but ask some more (the serious ones).. new questions keep on lingering in my mind when i talk to the people involved, listen on what other people say about them, reading their blog, etc.. argh.. When will it stop? oooohh.. a new question.. hehehe.. here's a poem i made before that can explain what i feel right now.. i really haven't thought of a good title yet.. but here goes:

I once lived a life when everything seemed ordinary

all was so boring and unreasonably tragic

but you came and something happened to me

you made my life unexpectedly complete

meeting you was the best that ever happened to me

every thing and every moment became a lot better

perhaps things were really meant to be

and im glad i was there when you were

i think of you every second of the day

always wishing for you to be near

hoping to you i can finally say

you're the only reason why im here

your company takes me out of the blue

wanted to be close even just for awhile

as you look at me i feel something new

you melt my heart with just one smile

i know everything is happening too fast

and i should keep things where they should be

but if i keep it inside i would not last

i would burst and breakdown easily

i know what im feeling is true

i just dont know what to do

i really wanted to say something to you

im starting to fall in love with you

la lang.. woah.. hehehe.. too many questions in my mind.. im surrounded by a bunch of lines right now.. been looking around my room and found these pieces of paper with lines from movies.. they say:

"it's breaking my heart and i don't know what to do.."

"you can't lose what you can't have.."

"i may never be perfect for you.."

"i must learn to live without you.."

"i have so much to give yet the one that i love doesn't want it.."

i like the last one.. nyaha.. can relate? maybe.. in a way.. hehehe.. waaaahhh.. it's 3:30 na.. i have speed meeting in one hour.. la lang.. im in mushy mode right now.. just hope i shift into my own self again when i go back to admu.. la lang.. hehehe.. last hirit na.. maybe it really is harsh reality.. maybe she really likes that guy.. but how can i be sure if i won't try.. labo b? hehehe.. it's like the line in the movie "Vanilla Sky" (here i go again)..

"Without the bitter, the sweet ain't a sweet.."

im really not sure if that's the exact words used.. basta it goes something like that..

Contemplating? Perhaps..

2005-08-10T00:04:00.000+08:00

"And I try to walk that same hill next to you.. And i try to be that missing part of you.. I guess i'll always do..."

Marco's Questions for the Moment:

Why do I enjoy mushy movies? (uhmmm.. If only? Butterfly Effect? My Sassy Girl?)
Why is it that i keep saying "baliw" and "addict"? (Chill kasi eh..)
Why do I love the water so much yet I don't swim anymore? (I really miss swimming.. I want to but I can't..)
What's it like to become a vampire? (currently watching LXG..)
What makes "Butterfingers" so delicious? (yum yum..)
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? (stupid question..)
Why did I take up Economics? (ADMU.. *sigh*)
Why do I love driving? (yeah!!)
Why do I call my car "Baby"? (waaaahh.. nabangga siya kanina.. argh..)
Why did George Lucas start with episode 4 in the Star Wars saga? (Pod Racing would've been a better start..)
Why is it that if someone asks something about relationships, people can easily help.. but when it comes to handling our own, it feels like we're helpless? (true naman ah..)
Why am I so complicated? (self-assessment lang.. hehehe..)
What if you really like someone, but she likes someone else.. pano yun? (uhmmmm.. la lang? hehehe..)
Why do some people tease me that I look like Jordan Herrera? (argh.. not true.. sobrang layo..)
Why do some families fall apart? (just asking.. bitter pa ko sa topic na yun eh..)
When will it be me? (bwahaha.. la lang ulit.. song kaya yan.. pero question pa rin.. labo..)
Why is it easy to fall in love and yet so hard to fall out of love? (bitter question.. pero I'm not ah.. gusto ko lang itanong.. hehehe..)
Where can I buy a "Sunflower"? (uhmmm.. la lang.. pick na lang sa UP.. hehehe..)
Why am I asking all these questions? (last na to.. hehehe..)

brooding...

2005-08-04T19:33:00.000+08:00

"So if you'd still go, I'll understand.. Would you give me something just to hold on to?"

Why do people say things that they don't really mean? Why do they tell others people that they wouldn't do something, and yet they still do?

another emotional day for me.. been thinking a lot.. i don't know what's happening anymore.. some people have been drifting away.. it's like i don't even know them anymore.. they're starting to change.. i'm starting to miss them already.. and it's like 6 and a half hours pa lang.. maybe that's my problem.. i get attached easily with my friends.. i easily treat them as family.. i don't know..

i watched "Wedding Crashers" last monday.. and guess what? i got a line again.. it goes:

"..we lose the ones we love.. that's just the way it is..."

maybe that's really the way it is.. anyways.. enough brooding...

wishfully thinking..

2005-07-24T21:56:00.000+08:00

"if you could only know me.. like your prayers at night.. and everything between you and me.. will be alright..."

time moves very slowly when you have nothing to do.. well.. i'm back here in my province.. i really didn't want to go but i had to get my car fixed.. so yun.. i really had no choice.. can't wait to go back to manila tomorrow.. i'll be leaving at around 10.. or hopefully earlier.. i'm so bored.. can't go out rin naman 'coz it's a sunday.. all the places here are closed.. damn..

despite the boring day today.. i really had fun over the past few days.. our block party last friday was supposedly cancelled.. but during our block lunch.. Klart invited us to come over her house since her family was going out for the night (invited ba talaga?).. a few of us agreed to go.. so after the AEA GA.. i went home and fixed my things then went back to katipunan to meet up with Charmie.. then we went to Jd's place to pick him up.. actually.. Charmie and i just followed him on the way to his house since he had a new route.. argh.. stupid potholes..anyways.. we headed to Klart's house afterwards.. Ialou, Alfred and two of his blockmates were already there.. singing and drinking iced tea.. this party was a little different from the other ones.. there were only 8 of us there.. we were scattered all over the place.. Klart and Ialou were in the kitchen cooking.. Jd and Alfred were in the living room singing.. Miguel and his blockmate were in the table beside the pool talking.. And Charmie and i were playing billiards.. nyaha.. i only bought 12 bottles of beere that night.. Jd, Ialou, Alfred and his blockmates drank 1 each.. and we consumed the rest.. it's really fun to play billiards while drinking.. nyaha.. Charmie was really good.. i think i just won by a rack or two.. hehehe.. but i lost the last game.. so i hafta treat her.. :P well.. after playing.. we headed to the living room and watched Jd sing and dance.. damn.. la lang.. wahehehehe.. Miguel and his blockmate was the first one to leave.. then a few minutes later.. Alfred followed.. so it was all block f2 left in the house.. hehehe.. we were about to leave at around 1 when Klart's mom arrived.. so yun.. we stayed for a few minutes then left.. i got home at around 2.. i slept right away since i had NSTP in a few hours.. we didn't do much during NSTP.. we just gave the kids an evaluation test to see what we should be focusing on.. as usual.. the traffic on the way back was so heavy.. the block planned to eat out for lunch but i didn't join them since i had a Speed GA.. nothing special.. just introductions.. i went home after to sleep.. hehehe.. i was so sleepy.. nyaha.. i woke up at around 8:30 in the evening.. woah.. i have a party with my high school kada at 9.. i quickly got ready and headed to my friend's place.. as usual.. stories, drinking, and swimming.. we planned what we'll do the next saturday.. nyaha.. i went home at 3 and slept right away.. i really need much sleep..

so that's my weekend.. i really want to go home na.. argh.. need to wake up early.. have tons to do this week.. i'll be seeing a few of my long tests results.. yikes.. hope they're all good..

do fishes need to sleep?

2005-07-19T19:14:00.000+08:00

"just a little more time was all we needed.. just a little time for me to see.. the light that life can give you.. how i can't set you free..."

fine mimi.. eto na po.. hehehe.. sowee natagalan.. busy eh (what?!)..

tip: two nights straight without sleep is not advisable..

let's see.. uhmmm.. last friday.. after class.. i went to my friend's house.. we played billiards all afternoon while waiting for the others (addict!!).. after most of our barkada arrived.. we decided to start the party.. hehehe.. damn.. all night.. drinking.. billiards.. stories.. talk about reliving the high school days.. the party ended at about 5:00 am.. damn.. i went home right away to freshen up for NSTP.. i arrived at school at about 6:45.. i met up with Jd to get the video cam that i thought we needed for the insertion.. turns out it was just an orientation and we just had to get to know all the kids.. what a relief.. i knew some of the kids already.. and some of them still knew me.. awwwww.. hehehe.. i was so tired so i didn't move much.. uhmmm.. maybe.. hehehe.. after.. we had to leave na.. on the way back.. i was so sleepy that i almost feel asleep in the jeep.. nyaha.. we had lunch after at wok this way.. not the whole block though.. just me, Kyle, Ann, Jd, Viva, Joey, and Ialou.. i ate pork tonkatsu.. as always.. then Kyle and Jd ordered an additional order of sisig but didn't finish it all.. more "take-home" for Joey.. after eating.. i dropped off Kyle and Ialou back in ADMU and headed to my mom's place.. i washed my car there.. so dirty.. heheh.. i waited for some friends then headed back home(my real home in cubao.. hehehe..).. we talked and talked again all night.. with a little bit of drinking session.. nyaha.. a little na lang.. we were done at about 2:oo am.. waaaaaahh.. i was so sleepy.. but i couldn't sleep because i had to pick up my dad at the airport at about 4:00 am.. so i just drank coffee then freshened up.. it kept me awake for a few hours.. when i got back home.. damn.. i slept at about 9:00 then woke up at 6:00.. wahahaha.. i hope i never have to do that again.. but then again.. hmmmmmmmm..

i'm really looking forward to our block party this friday.. it's block f2 with block f1.. hehehe.. hope it would be fun.. i just hope i won't get drunk again this time.. damn.. i won't swim na lang.. 1 tough lesson i learned.. drinking+swimming+driving does not match.. la lang.. un lang.. hehehe.. labo..

issues never die do they.. la lang.. after the first one.. there'll be another.. *sigh* when will they ever learn that such things only lead to messing up a good friendship.. why can't you people understand that? when will you ever learn? tsk tsk.. la lang.. came out from nowhere..

i'll be having my 2nd long test in calculus this thursday.. argh.. hafta study well.. i hope.. nyaha..

wow.. i can't believe i'm blogging again.. nyaha.. la lang.. hope it lasts.. hmmmmmm.. let's see.. i predict my next entry will either be this saturday or sunday.. hehehe.. maybe..

crave...

2005-07-12T20:19:00.000+08:00

"sometimes i just want to give up.. want to give in.. want to quit the fight.. but one look at you.. can make everything alright.."

fine Charmie.. here im updating my blog na.. hehehe.. argh.. its been almost 2 months na since my last entry.. hihihihi..

hmmm.. first of all.. I need to change my lay-out na.. I'm not a fish anymore.. uhmmm.. here's the thing.. I dropped out of the Ateneo Swimming Team or the Beluga Sharks as we call it (what?!).. just that it's getting kinda hectic na.. not with the sched but with the… hehehe.. bitin.. basta.. it's so hard.. I may not be a varsity player anymore.. but I'll always be a fish.. nyaha..

I went to my province last weekend.. before.. driving to Pampanga was usually 2 hours long.. but now.. with the new and improved North Luzon Expressway.. traveling time is cut down to an hour.. that's if you don't follow the speed limit.. hehehe.. bad.. tsk tsk.. I was driving really fast.. the speed limit is 100 km/h.. I think I was driving at about 140.. nyaha.. when I arrived at our house there, my cousin told me that enforcers are already strict in implementing the speed limit rule.. anyone caught speeding will be fined and the driver's license will be confiscated.. after hearing the news.. damn.. I was so glad that I wasn't caught.. hihihi.. I arrived there before lunch.. I hate it when I go to the province.. it's not that it's far or anything (it's really not that far.. hehehe..).. it's just that when I get there.. I tend to eat a lot.. I love my grandma's cooking.. her cooking is so fantastic and very irresistible.. hehehe.. I spent the whole afternoon sleeping, watching tv, and reading a book (marco? Reading a book? Is that you? Hehehe..).. yes.. I read a book.. nyaha.. it's 15 minutes by Paulo Coelho.. it's but not the whole book though.. just a few chapters.. anyways.. after dinner.. my cousin and I went out and played billiards all night.. playing billiards can be so addictive.. nyaha.. I taught my cousin a few tricks.. hehehe.. addict talaga.. we went home at around 12:00 coz we hafta go to mass early in the morning.. I didn't drink that night which makes my Saturday night incomplete.. Sunday came and I woke up at around 5:00 to get ready for mass.. as usual.. we attended the 6:00 mass and ate out afterwards.. I spent the whole morning sleeping..i went back to Manila after lunch so I could catch the Ateneo-LaSalle game.. sadly.. we lost to DLSU.. argh.. we'll get 'em next time.. I'm planning to watch the game this Saturday.. it's Ateneo vs. UST.. hehehe.. I'll probably watch it with my friends.. even though they're all Thomasians.. hehehe..

Block news.. it's sad that a few of our blockmates left F2.. Oju, Lloyd, and Benny dropped out of Ateneo.. Ann shifted to management.. Mimi shifted to Management Engineering (whoa! Naks mimay!!).. *sigh* I'll miss you guys.. hope to still see yah around.. on the other hands.. I have new blockmates who shifted in to Eco.. starting off with Diane.. I really don't know her that much but I see her as a really serious type.. Next is Gen.. she's from Eco-Honors.. smart.. really smart.. hehehe.. during our orsem .. block F2 was with block K.. so I knew Gen na.. hehehe.. she's a really friendly type.. always smiling.. however.. when she's in class na.. the Eco-H vibe comes out na.. hehehe.. the last but not the least is Charmie.. the reason why I'm updating my blog right now.. hehehe.. joke.. Charmie is my classmate in 3 out of my 4 classes.. at first.. she may seem as the shy and silent type but as you get along with her.. you'll see the real Charmie.. a fun to be with gal.. now this is becoming more of a testimonial.. hihihi.. basta.. she's game in parties and stuff.. saying.. di natuloy yung block party.. heard this gal can drink pa naman.. hehehe.. she's cool.. plus she's really smart.. lam niyo ba? She got a B in our first long test in calculus.. *sigh* it's a testimonial talaga.. yun lang.. nyaha.. it's great to have new blockmates..

Today was an okay day for me.. well.. except for the hunger.. went to all of my classes.. I'm becoming studious again.. sort of.. hehehe.. anyways.. after SA.. I went to Mateo Ricci with Charmie for our org interview.. it was fun.. learned some new terms such as SPEEPLE and FACCIONISTA.. wahaha.. afterwards.. we went to the caf to meet up with the block and waited for our Eco class..

I'm kinda pissed off right now.. I didn't eat breakfast this morning so I was really hungry during may morning classes.. I made plans with 'someone' to eat out for lunch after Eco class.. I asked her not to eat so that what happened before wouldn't happen again (long story).. she agreed.. knowing that we'll eat out for lunch.. I did not eat during my break because I knew that it would only ruin my appetite.. but when Eco class came.. that 'someone' told me that she won't eat later on because she already ate.. damn.. I was so pissed off and at the same time very hungry.. argh.. I'm just glad that Klart and Ialou were there me forget of my growling stomach with their weird block celebrity look alike.. thanks baby sisters.. *hugz*

I want to go out this week.. I'm craving for alcohol.. hehehe.. who can I ask to come? decisions decisions.. :P

i'm complicated...

2005-05-16T22:53:00.000+08:00

hey hey.. whoa.. it's like.. 2 months already.. nyaha.. la lang.. been really busy.. with summer classes and all.. but hey.. here i am.. writing another entry again.. so here.. there's a lot of stuff that has happened.. and i can't share them all tonight coz im really sleepy.. just thought of letting something out.. here it goes..

some people really get into my nerves.. la lang.. sometimes they feel it's okay for me and all.. but it's really not.. most of the time they take for granted if the things they say or do is foul or not.. how i wish that people can read minds and feel what a person's emotions so that they will know when to stop and shut up.. *sigh*

so that's my drama right now.. anyways.. last saturday early morning was one of the most exhilirating moment of my life.. guess what? i hit a car.. yepyep.. poor driver.. la lang.. i won't share anymore coz it's kinda evil.. nyaha.. basta yun.. *laughs histerically*

anyways.. i left the good stuff for my next entry.. tom hopefully.. nyaha.. im so sleepy.. nanyt.. buhbye..

Fishy fish..

2005-03-03T19:21:00.000+08:00

"still i see.. tears from your eyes.. maybe i'm just.. not the one.. for you.."

woah.. its been like.. uhmmm.. a month.. nyaha.. well.. nothings new.. just doing my research paper.. which was due last wednesay and i hafta finish tonight so i can pass it tom.. argh.. im such a crammer.. hmmmm.. makes me remember high school.. cramming days.. which was really applicable.. unlike nowadays.. u really hafta get a head on start.. *sigh* well.. a lot has happened the past month..

il start with valentine's day.. hmmmm.. since im single.. i didnt have a special someone to go out with.. so i decided to got out with special people.. nyaha.. so un.. the day was very hectic.. first i hafta submit some stuff.. the PE project and got it printed.. but first.. i went to a flower shop and ask to arrange three red roses.. im not going to tell who their for.. but i cut all my subjects just to accomplish my mission.. yah ryt.. nyaha.. afterwards.. i went to the computer shop to get my project printed.. so after i submitted it na.. and i waited for my bes and another blockmate.. after meeting up with them.. we ate at shakey's.. argh.. talk about single's night.. well.. we shared some stuff.. and proceeded to seattle's after.. there we met up with another blockmate.. its kinda confidential so cant share.. after.. i dropped my bes at the usual stairs and head on home.. i can say that that valentine's day wasn't bad after all.. at first i thought it would be a gloomy night at home.. but to my surprise.. it was the best valentine's day ever.. going out with friends really is fun..

i remember my birthday.. nyaha.. i celebrated my birthday with lotsa people.. hehehe.. hmmmm.. first.. on the 18th.. i went to temple with my blockmates and treated them.. uhmmmm.. thanks viva, klart, ialou, jd, ann!! hehe.. thanks talaga.. hope u enjoyed.. the dancing was great.. but what really struck me was our bonding.. la lang.. said some stuff.. learned some stuff.. there was one thing though.. one that's very hush hush.. hehehe.. dont worry.. i won't tell.. nyaha.. let's see.. that night.. i didn't drink a lot.. coz i knew i hafta drive.. i got punched in the nose(thanks ann).. i went home very late.. oh.. one of the things that made my birthday was by bes greeted me first.. nyaha.. so un.. after that night.. i slept na.. coz i knew i will do lotsa stuff.. when i woke up.. i went to school to meet up with our block rep.. nyaha.. we were supposed to go back to our NSTP spot and meet up with some of the kids.. but we were both late.. argh.. so we decided not to go na.. we called up my bes instead and ate lunch at chocolate kiss.. so there.. bonding again.. afterwards.. i dropped joey off back in admu and dropped my bes off at galleria.. party girl.. tsk tsk.. then i went to saisaki to meet up with my family.. again.. i ate lunch.. that lunch was really special for me coz just seeing those people there eating with me makes me realize how special i am to them.. knowing their from pampanga and all.. so un.. after.. i wnet home and rested.. the celebration wasn't done.. that night.. i met up with my barkada and played billiards with them.. after we drank and drank.. one friend of mine even rolled down the pool.. nyaha.. kei lng yan lyan.. so un.. after.. i slept at my friends house.. my party was so great.. i enjoyed every minute of that day even though it was so tiring.. thanks for making it special u guys..

hmmmmm.. wut else.. well.. im just going to say that playing billiards can be so addictive.. ive been playing every night for the past week with my friends.. argh.. enjoy naman eh.. nyaha..

uhmmm.. why is it that sometimes.. when you do something for others.. they misunderstand it.. and say that y are you butting in or something.. ala lang.. i dunno.. perhaps i just love helping people out.. specially the ones who are really close to me.. id do everything that i can.. and its even okay from me if they dont even appreciate it or something.. it just that the feeling of fulfillment really overwhelms me.. so un.. i mishu bes..

did this ever happen to you na? you liked someone.. and you fell for her.. but she rejects you.. and you realize that you've fallen so deep for her.. and you make yourself realize that it really wasnt meant to be.. so now your on the verge of moving on.. but as you see her.. her smile.. even just a glance.. you know.. again.. you'd fall.. la lang.. hrap eh..

saw my friends new lay outs.. la lng.. makes me wonder.. its really kinda funny.. since im the official fish in our block.. someones butting in the picture.. he says he's a dolphin and all.. just because he gave someone a dolphin bracelet.. hmmm.. im being mean am i? la lang.. its just that.. ala.. its like my kabarkada kasi eh.. u dont want to lower your pride and yet u want others to pity u by saying that ur a dolphin in distress.. gosh.. i dont mean to be mean (huh?).. but its just like what i said to my kabarkada.. what's up with that?! its so pathetic.. okay okay.. im being so mean na.. so un lang.. anyways.. guess im a shark naman eh.. a tiger shark during high school.. and bluga shark now (what the F**k is that?!).. *sigh* but honestly.. swimming isn't really the first thing on my list to do this month.. so un.. rest muna.. sorry sa tinamaan nung sinabi ko..

well i hafta get back in doing my paper na.. hafta finish it.. damn.. this has got to be my hell week.. first submission of research paper.. then orals and finals for PE tom.. so gotta get back to work.. buhbye.. that's it for now.. il try to blog more this time.. nyaha..

Crazy Fish

2005-01-30T18:35:00.000+08:00

"I never lost the love that I have given you
With all the things that we have all been through
I've never stayed in love before
As much as I have stayed in love with you
You, you never thought the feelings
Meant for you were true
'coz everytime we're all alone you wonder
If I'll really never change
And if I'll really stay in love with you
Love, it needs just you and me to stay together
Even if there's nothing more
The best is there forever
Love, we have to stay this way in love forever
Even if you change your ways
I'll always stay this way
'coz I, I will always stay this way in love with you
I will always stay this way in love with you
You, you never thought the feeling
Meant for you were true
'coz everytime we're all alone you wonder
If I'll really never change
And if I'll really stay in love with you
Love...
It needs just you and me to stay together
Even if there's nothing more
The best is there forever"

wahehe.. its been a long time.. nyaha.. hmmmmmm.. been contemplating much with this song.. la lang.. saya.. a very mushy song.. had a lot of realizations.. i dunno.. but i guess it really applies.. well.. most of it.. anyways.. i'll study muna.. have a lot to do rin eh.. later..

mushy fish

2004-12-26T01:28:00.000+08:00

"sometimes.. in order to do what's right.. you must let go of the things you want.. even the thing you hold dear the most.."

why is it so tough to let go of a person you've fallen in love with?? i mean why can't you just save all the tears and not experience all the pain?? why cant i just let go??? uhmmmm.. ala na.. speechless na ko.. hehehe.. but seriously.. argh.. why cant it be just like the movies?? everyone stays happy.. no heartaches.. no heartbreaks.. everyone has his or her own happy ending.. drama drama drama..

its just this decision ive made a week ago.. its really bugging me.. it makes me think if what i made was right or wrong.. argh.. a friendly relatonship with her full of regret or an aloof realtionship with her in fulfillment that i told her how i really felt.. those were my choices.. siyempre.. i couldnt lie to her.. i had to tell her how i felt rather than pretend to have no feelings for her at all.. wasn't that the right thing to do?? to tell her the truth.. well.. that was it.. its done na.. a big part of me is still hoping for the impossible to happen as most people do.. most of my friends are getting tired of me contemplating all the time.. but i just cant help it.. it damn hurts.. ive fallen in love a lot of times.. but not like this.. so deep..

anyways.. im getting all mushy again.. grrrrr.. nyaha.. uhmmm.. even though i show the real me.. there are still some people who stay.. people who's always there for me no matter what.. nyaha.. mushy pa rin.. anyways.. thanks chill.. for being there.. for helping me and all.. uhmmm.. for understanding me din.. nyaha.. kahit lam mo na sobra na me.. you still stay.. thanks a bunch..

*sigh* as my shirt says.. nyaha.. i want to go back to school na.. i miss my blockmates.. both english and eco blocmates.. nyaha.. i miss everyone.. nyaha.. anyways.. time to read again.. till next time.. buhbye..

Gloomy Christmas

2004-12-26T01:16:00.000+08:00

they say that Christmas is a season to be jolly.. hmmmm.. i dunno.. its just that the few days have really been tough for me.. have a lot of things that keep running through my mind.. first of all.. i just want to say that celebrating Christmas with a broken family SUCKS!!! i mean you keep on thinking of the good times that you had as a complete family.. the dinner you had together.. the time you give gifts to each other.. the time you hug each other at the strike of midnight.. such things really add up which makes you be hard on yourself.. am i making any sense?? basta.. you know what i mean.. i dunno.. i just miss the old days i guess.. i miss my family together during Christmas season.. anyways.. there are more stuff that i have been thinking about.. uhmmm.. but i really can't share na.. its kinda so personal.. il try.. nyeknyek.. uhmmm.. how will i tell this?? sometimes there are things that a person omits or doesn't put into consideration because he is overwhelmed by the feeling of fulfillment.. lalim ah.. well let's just say ive been thinking and there a lot of things ive come to realize.. this is one of it.. ive come to realize that ive been too good to many people.. almost doing all the things they want me to do.. i really dunno.. maybe its wrong.. maybe its not.. i just love all my friends.. and i mean all of them.. grrrrrrrr.. its really confusing.. sometimes i dunno what's the difference between right from wrong anymore.. argh.. anyways.. that's all i can share for now.. off to reading again.. ive been reading a book to keep my mind off of the things i should'nt think about.. so til next time.. which is about a few minutes later.. nyaha..

party fish

2004-12-23T14:03:00.000+08:00

ha!! at last.. im now officially resting.. nyaha.. im here na sa prov.. its kinda gloomy here pero i guess its for the better so i can really rest.. the past few days have been the most tiring but exciting days of my college life.. too many parties..

firstly, last thursday night was our block party.. well.. to tell you the truth.. it wasn't really what i had expected.. it was better.. much better.. everyone had fun.. im sure of it.. nyaha.. i was kinda late coz i had to buy one last gift at gale.. talk about major cramming.. buying a gift before the party.. hehehe.. but its okay.. coz its the most special gift.. hehehe.. afterwards.. i had to pick up nix and nathan.. so yun.. after.. we went to klart's na.. 1st impression of the place.. WOAH.. grabe.. speechless.. hehehe.. basta.. so cool.. so.. wen we arrived.. they were kinda watching a movie.. so we played billiards na lang.. saya.. hehehe.. after we got tired of waiting for our blockmates.. we ate na.. then.. the drinking started.. hehehe.. first we drank beer.. the deal was whoever who would finish his or her beer last would sing.. nyaha.. i guess i had the advantage.. i was the first one to finish my beer.. hehehe.. as i remember the last one was ialou, chill or ann.. cant really remember.. pero we all understood her naman.. coz she doesn't relly drink.. hehehe.. labo.. afterwards.. joey arrived with a bottle of tequila.. damn.. that was my first time to drink that.. and it was so much better than vodka.. hehehe.. basta.. after a few shots.. the girls were getting tipsy na.. so a bunch decided to swim na to relieve the intoxication(huh?).. hehehe.. so yun.. i wasn't supposed to swim.. being a fish and all.. always stuck in the water.. hehehe.. and besides i get sleepy everytime i swim.. but everyone agreed to swim.. i didnt want to be a KJ.. so i agreed to swim na rin.. so yun.. when i got dressed.. i said to myself that il swim after a few minutes coz i just removed my shoes.. but.. grrrrrr.. klart pushed me to the pool.. with my shirt on.. argh.. i made her believe that i still got my cellphone with me.. and she did.. she was asking for it.. hehehe.. but i told her na it was in my bag.. we both laughed.. so.. being the fish that i am.. i enjoyed every minute in the water and swam a little bit.. after.. i got up and dried up.. had a few more shots of tequila.. (damn.. those things are addictive..) and bonded with a few blockmates who were up.. after we finished the whole bottle of tequila.. a bunch of us decided to buy some more.. so we asked jd's driver to buy us some rhum and coke.. (talk about mixed drinking.. nyaha..) wait.. talking about jd.. damn.. this dude was so drunk even before the party had started.. he was the one who arrived late yet he was the first one to get tipsy.. he was shouting and all.. nyaha.. i guess that's just how he deals with his problems.. damn.. anyways.. when the rhum and coke arrived.. only us dudes drank.. after.. all of them went inside and started singing.. i remained outside to continue on drinking.. hehehe.. after i went inside na rin coz they said they wanted to play truth or dare.. damn.. talk about being in the hot seat.. anyways.. basta.. yun na yun.. as the hours passed.. we were getting fewer and fewer.. finally.. i decided to give my most special gift na.. so yun.. that was the first time for two months that we talked.. and i was happy.. being the mababaw that i am.. after.. the girls wanted to rest na so we decided to leave na.. i slept at around 3:30 na.. so.. one down..

the next night, i spent it with my friends in my old neighbourhood.. nothing much.. just a few beers and a few stories.. damn.. that makes me miss my old house.. anyways.. two down..

saturday night.. debby's debut.. it was held in big kahuna in eastwood.. can i just say na ang kulit ni joey.. i mean kulit in a good way.. she livens the party up.. nyaha.. i was looking for alcohol that night but all i got was iced tea.. grrrrrr.. pero masaya naman eh.. bonding pa rin.. kulit mo talaga joanna ruaro!!! hehehe.. three down..

the next night.. mars' debut.. another night in eastwood.. but this time in blue onion.. now.. even though we were only a few of us there.. alcohol was present.. my night is complete.. it was pretty much the same as the other night.. however, there was dancing.. i danced.. yeah i did.. and i don't know why.. i was shocked myself.. nyaha.. i was also with chill that night.. and i must say.. chill=good dancer.. nyaha.. she is.. nung other night niya pa gusto sumayaw eh.. she was really alive that night than before.. maybe its really because of the dancing.. hehehe.. well.. masaya rin ung party.. pero nothing much happened pa rin.. so.. four down..

monday night was my last party.. it was with my high school barkada.. damn.. i miss those guys.. we drank tequila.. nyaha.. after a few drinks.. we were catchn up on old times.. pero i was shocked when they asked me a bunch of questions that i didn't expect they'd ask.. hahaha.. pero masaya.. i went home the next day na and rested the whole day..

you'll see na i didn't write much on the other parties unlike the one with my block.. i guess its just that i anticipated it the most and expected less from the rest.. i dunno.. basta.. il continue na lang next time.. its kinda long na eh.. okieokie.. buhbye..

fishing

2004-12-14T11:55:00.000+08:00

hmmmmmm.. well.. today is a very sad and boring day.. i just found out that one of my blockmates has a bit of misunderstanding with another blockmate.. tpos prang his feeling for another blockmate faded away.. i really dunno the reason.. but what he said was "if she's not right for me, then i just have to let go. hindi na kailangan pilitin pa ang ayaw" argh.. afterwards, i had my contemplating moments again.. it makes me think a lot.. maybe he's right.. maybe if you're not meant to be, it really won't happen.. maybe the only thing to do is just let go and leave her in peace.. maybe continuing on holding unto her will just worsten things and hurt real bad much than before.. i guess.. maybe.. just maybe.. i just have one question though.. how do you let go and forget a person that you've learned to love? a love that is so deep that it hurts so bad each passing day.. i know it sounds crazy for a lot of my friends.. i know 4 months may seem so fast.. but i really cant explain.. some say its just an infatuation.. to tell you the truth.. it really isnt.. for 4 months i have learned to love her without even thinking that she won't love me back.. but i guess sometimes.. that's just how love works right? i mean sometimes love just wont work everything out if two are not meant to be.. most people say that you hurt the one you love and love the one who hurts you.. i guess its true.. but i just want to know why? why cant it work so easily? why cant we experience what we want? i guess those things only happen in a dreamworld.. or maybe in a movie.. we have to face the reality that there is a person for us.. and a person who isn't.. *sigh* love works in mysterious ways.. nyaha.. labo.. anyways.. im getting mushy again.. argh.. its just that i want to help this blockmate of mine whose having a bit of a problem.. i want to fix every problem between my blockmates.. grrrrrrrr.. that's another problem of mine.. im good at helping people.. however, i cant even help myself.. am i wierd or what.. anyways.. one of my blockmates is still pissed of at me.. i guess i was pushing her too hard.. i only considered my feelings and ignored hers.. damn.. im so stupid.. its so hard to deal with such things.. but i really want to settle everything.. why cant everything be like before? its so tough.. i want everything to be resolved.. i know its my fault.. argh.. sometimes.. i just want to fly away from all of this.. live alone and start a new life.. but one cannot run from his problems.. he should take full responsibility and fix everything up.. mushy mushy mushy.. well.. i guess that's it.. i just want to let everything out.. anyways.. i hafta study na.. buhbye.. til next time..

paranoia..

2004-12-12T14:09:00.000+08:00

i was really paranoid last night.. i dunno why.. but i just had this feeling na somethings not right.. ewan.. sobrang labo.. that was so stupid.. i think i even pissed off my friend.. if youre reading this.. im so sorry.. i was really paranoid.. that really wasnt right.. sorry sorry sorry.. anyways.. i just got home.. im so tired and i cant rest.. hafta do 2 papers and a project proposal for our org.. damn i almost forgot.. the peer evaluation for my partner.. argh.. so that makes it 3 papers and a project proposal.. too many paperworks.. i cant even imagine how im going to do this.. im so tired.. yesterday was our last swimming competition for the year.. and i still feel my whole body aches.. even though.. i did have fun.. my team mates were very supportive and we were bonding the whole time.. nyaha.. ang saya.. i got to know my team mates very well.. especially mica.. hehehe.. now ko lang nalaman na classmate pala siya ng cousin ko nung high school for 4 years straight.. talk about being in a small world.. hehehe.. so ayun.. after that comps.. etition.. im so messed up.. that competition was the most tough one.. argh.. pero it was really fun.. hehehe.. labo.. maybe the being so tired part added to me being paranoid.. maybe.. dunno.. anyways.. hafta start muh papers na.. til next time na lang.. pahabol lang.. im really sorry for last night.. sorry talaga..

happy happy happy!!

2004-12-10T23:54:00.000+08:00

nyaha.. im soooo happy.. nagtext na siya.. well.. its kind shallow.. pero saya talaga eh.. wonder when will we have the chance to talk again.. hmmmm.. for now il just wait.. anyways.. just got home from muh uncle's wedding.. grabe.. im sooo tired. i have a competition pa tom.. grrrrrr.. well i guess thats how it is.. argh.. im so stressed out.. too much work.. need to rest a lot.. have lots to pass this week.. i really need a break.. anyways.. cge im gonna sleep na..

1st entry

2004-12-06T22:21:00.000+08:00

wow.. muh 1st entry.. nyaha.. la lang.. hmmmm.. wut to put.. wala lang.. all i can remember this day is that super, as in super hard training.. grabe.. sobra.. muh whole body's aching right now.. nyaha.. un na muna.. need 2 rest na..